If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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