he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
