Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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