This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
