So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
