I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
