You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
