She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
