I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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