I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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