Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
