as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
