She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
