careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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