I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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