In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
