I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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