Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
