Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
