theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
