I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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