found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
