I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
