He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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