google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize