Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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