Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just want nice things and good sex
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
