we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize