I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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