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oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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