Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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