I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
