He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
