I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
