Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
