Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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