Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
