i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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