I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize