kristin has been a bad kristin
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
