youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
