yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
