I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
