Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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