who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
