she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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