How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
