TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
