soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
