he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
