we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
