and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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