All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize