It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize