Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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