he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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