I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
