I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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