Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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